F  O  R  E  W  O  R  D

Planning a wedding is an exciting time. From choosing colors, designs, and flower arrangements; registering for household goods, china, and crystal; having the perfect photographer record the day’s event; and dancing the first dance at the reception, a great deal of time and effort goes into the development and execution of the “perfect day.” When a couple stands before me committing themselves to each other and become a family, it is always my hope that they will find their “happily ever after.” However, there is one thing I recognize within the couple: They are not perfect people. Every human grew up within a family unit of some sort, whether good or bad. Every human has had years of experiences that have shaped their personalities, responses, and outlook on life. Often, more effort is put into the wedding day and not planning for the marriage itself. Marriage is work and sometimes hard work. When a child is introduced into the family of two, things can become even more complicated. The bundle of joy that was safely tucked away for nine months arrives. The parents no longer have a full night’s sleep, baby stuff is all over the house, and sometimes the parents do not remember the last time they showered. The couple who may have worked hard to learn to live together, now have to learn how to live with a non-verbal human. Once again, the family experiences the couple brought to the relationship show up. Perhaps one chose to never be like their parents, perhaps the other wants to be just like their parents. Communication can get strained.

As a clergywoman, my hope is that a family unit can learn to live with one another in a healthy relationship. However, I recognize that families consist of imperfect humans and sometimes families have to divide into smaller parts. It is a beautiful thing that people like my dear friend and fraternity brother, Eddie Stephens, are available to walk a family through difficult times such as these. Eddie has a heart for assuring children are well cared for, all parties receive a fair and equitable decision, and the smaller family unit can continue forward. He does all of this with professionalism, poise, and grace.

It has been my pleasure to know Eddie almost twenty years. He has shown me how to work in a stressful career and remember self-care is not only important, but necessary. His philanthropic endeavors are a great example of giving of one’s self for the joy of giving and not for personal gain. Eddie’s personal motto is “Do Something that Matters”.

In furtherance of that mission, Eddie is donating a portion of the proceeds from this book to an organization near and dear to both our hearts. The Leadership Foundation of Delta Sigma Pi was established to assist in leadership training, professional development, and scholarships for the young men and women of Delta Sigma Pi. You can learn more at their website, www.deltasigmapi.org/foundation .

It is often said in Delta Sigma Pi, “A Brother is a Brother for Life.” Eddie models this phrase by remaining an active leader in Delta Sigma Pi and the Leadership Foundation. His passion to influence the next generation of leaders in a positive way can be seen as he volunteers his time by sharing with collegiates his experiences in business, law and life. He shares not only his successes, but becomes vulnerable by sharing his failures. Often times, it was through the failures that he gained success. Eddie has also put his money where his mouth is by giving and raising funds to provide educational grants to Delta Sigma Pi students at the University of Miami, Florida Atlantic University, and Florida International College. Because Eddie raised over $20,000 for this specific purpose, Delta Sigma Pi named the scholarship after him.

The other portion of the proceeds from this book will be donated to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Suicide is a situation that calls us to recognize the preciousness of life. The mission of AFSP is to “save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide.” They have set a goal to reduce the annual suicide rate in the U.S. 20 percent by 2025. “Suicide most often occurs when stressors exceed the current coping capacity of someone suffering from a mental health condition.” You can learn more at their website, www.afsp.org.

I will never forget the day I sat with a family as a chaplain following the suicide of their loved one. The unanswered questions were many and the pain was excruciating. They shared how mental illness had consumed their loved one for years and it seemed no one could help them. On that afternoon, I returned home exhausted and emotional. I remember hugging my family a little tighter that evening. In my desire to be able to better help in the future and following Eddie’s example to “Do Something that Matters,” I have been trained in Mental Health First Aid.

Eddie’s life was affected by the suicide of Erik Cahill in February. Erik’s mother, Angela, is one of Eddie’s primary paralegals. Erik had been battling addiction and mental health issues in which his family was not fully aware. At Erik’s funeral, Eddie cooked for those gathered and shared his own story of healing. Not stopping with the funeral, Angela, Eddie, and Erik’s sister, Jessica, have used this experience to “Do Something that Matters.” Jessica found an AFSP walk as way to take action. For his birthday this year, Eddie asked for his friends to make a donation for the Polk County Out of the Darkness, Suicide Prevention Walk. As their group raised the most money, they carried the banner for the opening parade at the walk. Taking a situation with the ability to devastate family and friends and rising above to “Do Something that Matters” is a core tenant of Eddie Stephens’ life. The greatest testimony to his influence is when friends and family begin doing the same.

I pray you will be as blessed from your relationship with Eddie Stephens as I have been and find the world is better because of his small steps to make a difference.

Blessings and Peace,

Rev. Shannon Marie L. Berry, M.Div., Holston Conference of the United Methodist Church

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About Stephens’ Squibs: